Mastering Love: A Journey Towards Authentic Connection – 14: The Law of Mutual Respect

The commonly held belief that men's primary need is respect, often interpreted as an ego-driven demand for unquestioning agreement, and women's primary need is love, has long been a topic of discussion in the realm of relationships. However, this dichotomy oversimplifies the complex needs of human beings, assigning gender-specific needs that overlook the universal desires for both love and respect.

In my years of counseling and observation, I've yet to encounter a woman who does not crave respect or a man devoid of the need for love. This segregation of fundamental human needs into gendered categories does a disservice to the intricate dynamics of human relationships. It can lead to a misunderstanding that to respect men is to cater to their ego at the expense of healthy discourse, and to love women is to potentially overlook their equal need for respect. Such misconceptions can foster behavior that disrespects women under the guise of fulfilling men's supposed primary need for respect.

The third law of love, respect, entails a deep-seated reverence for one's partner, a quality that encompasses looking back at them with regard and honor. Derived from the Latin 'respicere,' meaning "to look back at, regard," and akin to the French 'vénérable,' implying worthiness of honor, respect in the context of love transcends mere admiration. It embodies the valuation of each other's opinions, feelings, and boundaries, ensuring that even disagreements and corrections are approached with dignity, without diminishing the other person's worth.

The issue at hand extends beyond merely respecting those we perceive as superior or authoritative. True respect, the kind that underpins genuine love, requires honoring everyone with the same level of regard, irrespective of their status or relationship to us. It challenges the notion of being merely "respecters of men," a term that suggests deference only to those in higher positions or with greater power, often observed in the way bullies may submit to those they perceive as superior while disregarding the dignity of others.

The measure of true love is not found in the grand gestures or declarations but in the consistent respect shown in the day-to-day interactions. One cannot claim to truly love someone while consistently disrespecting them. This realization prompts us to examine our own behaviors and attitudes:

• Do you practice mutual respect in your relationships, or are you a 'respecter of men,' showing deference only to those you deem superior?
• How do you navigate disagreements with your partner? Are your discussions marked by mutual respect or dominated by a need to assert superiority?
• In what ways can you cultivate a deeper sense of respect in your relationships, ensuring that love and respect are not mutually exclusive but rather coexisting pillars of a strong and healthy partnership?

 I am a Saviour

Praise Fowowe