When Curiosity Dies, Love Dies with It

Over the past few days, social media has been buzzing following a podcast appearance by the daughter of one of Nigeria’s most respected fathers of faith.

In the conversation, she openly shared some of her struggles and disagreements with certain interpretations and applications of scripture. Whether one agrees with her conclusions or not is beside the point even though I believe the lady has only given a voice to what many people have doubts about.

What caught my attention was not what she said. It was how many people responded. The comments quickly became a battlefield; some called her names. Some questioned her salvation, and some cursed her.

Some condemned her while others wished misfortune upon her. As I watched the reactions unfold, I found myself asking a simple question:

What happened to curiosity?

When did we become so uncomfortable with disagreement that our first instinct became condemnation instead of conversation? The truth is that every one of us is standing somewhere on a journey of awareness.

The conviction you hold strongly today was once something you did not understand. The revelation you now defend passionately was once a mystery to you.

The wisdom you now teach confidently was once a lesson you had not yet learned. Yet somehow, when people publicly wrestle with questions we privately struggle with, we often respond with anger instead of empathy. One of the greatest signs of maturity is not how we treat people who agree with us; It is how we treat people who don’t.

The love of God is not tested in agreement; It is tested in disagreement. Anyone can be kind to people who validate their worldview. The real test comes when someone challenges what we hold dear. And if our response is to curse, attack, shame, mock, or dehumanize them, perhaps we should pause and ask ourselves whether we are truly defending truth or merely protecting our ego.

Truth does not become weaker because someone questions it. If anything, truth welcomes sincere examination.

Over the years, I have discovered that many people are not necessarily rebellious. They are simply trying to reconcile their experiences, questions, pain, observations, and beliefs. While some are early in the journey others are further ahead. And some are courageously asking questions others are too afraid to voice. That is why I believe we need to learn how to engage differences with both conviction and compassion.

Here are five reminders that have helped me navigate people whose worldview differs from mine.

1. Get Curious Before You Become Critical - Behind every opinion is a story. Before attacking a person’s conclusion, seek to understand the experiences that shaped it.

2. Separate the Person from the Position - You can disagree with an idea without devaluing the person expressing it. One of the greatest mistakes we make is assuming that disagreement automatically makes someone evil, foolish, or dangerous.

3. Remember That Growth Is a Process - The person you are correcting today may be wrestling with questions you settled years ago. What appears obvious to you may still be unfolding for them.

4. Conviction Does Not Require Hostility - Strong beliefs and strong love can co-exist. You do not need to become aggressive to be persuasive because the loudest voice in the room is rarely the wisest.

5. Leave Room for Grace - None of us sees perfectly because we are all learning, growing and evolving. Humility reminds us that there may be things we currently hold with confidence that future growth will cause us to revisit.

As I reflected on the events of the week, I was reminded that the world does not need more outrage. It needs more understanding. We truly need more conversations, and it certainly does not need more people weaponizing their beliefs. It needs people who are secure enough in what they believe to listen without fear. Because when curiosity dies, learning dies and when learning dies, growth dies. When growth dies, we begin to worship certainty instead of truth.

This week, may we have the courage to hold our convictions firmly while holding people gently.

Have a thoughtful week ahead.

Praise Fowowe